If you haven’t already, you probably will get numerous frequent text messages from your ex following a breakup. I will thus walk through each of these rather frequent messages your ex will give you in this blog to make sure you know how to respond perfectly.
As I indicated in the opening, in this blog, I will go over the 6 usual texts your ex may send you and discuss your likely intentions and how you should react to each of them.
Text No. 1: Missing you
Fairly common, nothing so significant right here. I miss you, want validation, and actually want you back. Although your ex might be experiencing all three of these things, it can be rather challenging to distinguish them, particularly via text message. Therefore, it’s possible that your ex simply misses you and doesn’t want you back, even if they are uttering rather wonderful and motivating words. Worse of all, they could be just lonely and know that if they get in touch with you, you will provide the necessary affirmation. This is really one of the reasons that no contact works, since it keeps you from being controlled by your ex following the split.
Let us now, however, explore the first common text message your ex might send you: “I miss you.”
Now, its understandable that getting this kind of communication from your ex hurts. How could someone dump you and then forward you this kind of message? How are you meant to reply?
Usually, this kind of text arrives late at night when your ex is either lonely or maybe drunk.
Something like “I miss you,” or “I wish you were here” would indicate they might be second-guessing their choice to split.
On the one hand, this is clearly a positive indication if you wish to see your ex again. It most certainly implies that they are experiencing emotional difficulty with the split. However, it’s also somewhat risky since it can lead A) to false hope and B) encourage you to react in an overly emotional manner, exposing your need to get back together.
When you get this kind of “I miss you” SMS from your ex? You absolutely don’t want to respond right away, saying, “I miss you so much too,” or anything like that. Before you reply in any form, you should wait at least for an hour or two. If you receive this letter late at night or in the evening, though, it is actually preferable to wait to react until the next day. You might also simply not reply at all.
Actually, not responding in any form is nearly always the wisest choice if you are now in a period of no contact. If you do reply, once you have waited at least an hour or two, it is advisable to you to say something like, “Hey, I miss you too.” About missing, have you seen my navy blue jumper at your house? I searched nowhere for it. Changing the topic is an excellent way to answer your ex’s comment without coming across as unduly desperate or emotionally engaged.
Text No. 2: “How have you been?”
This is yet another enigmatic message with a challenging response. This is almost “What have you been up to?” or “How are you holding up?” Now, this one could be in your brain. “They’re reaching out to me to tell me how bad things have been since the breakup and that they want me back,” or “They want me to know how miserable I am so they can feel better about themselves.” Actually, though, slow down there, as the reality is that this kind of message is more likely to be a nice check-in. Given how unhappy you were the last time they saw you, perhaps they are concerned about your handling of the split. Perhaps they are seeking a moment of human connection with you since, even if they want to move on, they still value you personally.
So avoid drawing hasty judgments here. Use great caution in your actual response. Once more, avoid responding at all if you are no-contact right now. Should those 30 days already have passed, you should answer; but, maintain it even-keeled. Tell them things they are looking forward to for you, even if this has been a trying period. Perhaps offer something you find interesting. Just resist falling into any form of self-pity or becoming very negative. Sending this message after no contact can actually be a fantastic starting point for you to start re-connecting with your ex. Just watch out not to hurry it.
Text No 3:”I hate you.”
Although you guys broke things on amicable terms, it is rather typical for this kind of message to surface from your ex. This is another difficult text you could get after a breakup.
Generally speaking, it’s not quite as direct as declaring, “I hate you.” Your ex might make hints about their current situation, which might be much better (as per them). They could bring up prior conflicts or treat you horribly for something you did while still living together.
Believe it or not, any type of text like this where your ex is trying to lash out or say something nasty to you is usually actually a positive indication, regardless of the precise specifics of the message, since it shows that your ex is still thinking about you and still cares about you enough to actually send the text. Though they are obviously unhappy, they are still somewhat invested in the relationship; they wouldn’t be bothered to get in touch.
How do you respond to such an aggressive or hostile message from your ex? Well, ignore it; it’s easy. You should never let yourself get drawn into any form of fight or show your ex that their remarks have emotionally offended you. Your ex might be saying this kind of stuff in an effort to get an enraged response, which they could then use to defend breaking up as a means of justification for hurting you.
Arguing with your ex will not bring forth anything worthwhile. Your best chance, in 99.9% of all circumstances, is therefore to completely ignore this kind of message. Sure, you might win the debate and make them feel as horrible as they’re trying to make you feel (bad), but that’s really not going to solve anything, and it’s most definitely not going to help you get back your ex.
Text No. 4: Indifferent one word reply to a long text message
Sometimes you can be messaging back and forth to your ex, and he or she will reply with a one-word response—something like “okay,” “yes,” or “whatever,” essentially indicating total disinterest to you and whatever you are saying.
So, if it seems like they are trying to stifle or shut down the conversation with this kind of apathetic one-word language, then that’s probably accurate. If your ex responds in this manner, pay attention and avoid trying to probe more. Sometimes the one-word responses indicate your ex is bored with you and you should back away; sometimes it’s just because they’re in a foul mood or in the middle of something and they don’t want to be bothered. Still, it’s time to give them some space, whatever the case.
You thus absolutely want not to try to carry on the conversation or find out why he or she is behaving so apathetically and coldly. Better still, wait till your ex contacts you once more on their own. Don’t compel the problem until that moment. Just let them go for now.
Text No. 5: “Are you dating anyone?”
Your ex might very likely get in touch to find out whether you are seeing anyone. This might be a random inquiry or one asked in the framework of a more general conversation. Still, if you’re trying to get back together, it’s quite encouraging in either case. Why? Well, it obviously shows that your ex isn’t quite over you and typically implies that they’re apprehensive about you maybe moving on.
Over time, this jealousy might be a tool for your benefit.
Wait, though, before you start answering and get very eager. Don’t act only because you receive a positive note like this or any other kind of message implying that your ex is envious.
It doesn’t follow that you should be honest and transparent in your reply or that they absolutely want you back. Actually, it’s preferable to either completely ignore the remark or respond in a vague, enigmatic manner.
You might reply, for instance, “Oh, you know me. I’ve always been a ladies’ man, winky emoji, or something along those lines that will leave your ex wondering whether you truly are seeing somebody. Usually, it’s just best to keep your ex wondering for now, rather than offering any kind of clear response. Above all, avoid posing the identical question to them in reply. Most likely, this is what they are looking for, so they may either make you envious in return or simply get some sort of indicator that you still value and desire them. So resist the temptation.
Text No 6: “Leave me alone.”
Last but not least, your ex can message you something like, “I need some space right now,” or “Please leave me alone,” and that kind of thing. You really cannot ignore this kind of text.
Actually, you can ignore the text itself; by which I mean you should surely not react to it, but you cannot ignore this kind of demand. You do have to accept it and follow what your ex is asking. Any message you provide will simply make matters worse since there is absolutely no way to persuade your ex that they should want to talk to you again in this situation.
To be honest, that is all that has to be done upon receiving a message of this kind from your ex. If they’re openly telling you that they want you to leave them alone, then you really have no option but to do so. You have to stop communicating with your ex until they reach out to you again. So, keep moving forward, put your phone on, do not disturb, and come back to this blog in the future, if you ever need a refresher on how to properly reply to your ex’s messages.
