So, this blog is about playing it cool and indicating to your ex that you don’t care. This is a very effective strategy that will really increase your chances with your ex if employed correctly. This is because it’s the exact opposite of how many people act after a breakup. Most people either lash out in anger, wallow in sadness, or pester their ex hoping for a second chance. The same goes for breakups that were a mutual decision. In fact, even if you were the dumper, you’ll usually fall into one of these categories, and that’s definitely not a good thing.

These behaviors ruin any good memory your ex has of your relationship and make them lose respect for you. They’re so easy to fall into if you’re not actively trying to avoid them. It’s very human to feel upset after a breakup and to pester your ex for another chance or cry about it in a pathetic way. Of course, this is just going to push your ex further away. Avoid these pitfalls by following my rules.

Rule 1: Keep to Yourself

This is the best way to let your ex know that you simply don’t care after a breakup. No matter how well you follow the other rules on this list, if you’re constantly reaching out to your ex, it really doesn’t matter what you’re saying. You could be listing all their faults and telling them how much better your life is without them, but as long as you’re still bugging them, it’s going to be completely obvious how much you really do care.

Instead, make every effort to keep your distance from your ex. You both need time to cool off and process the breakup in your own way. This means no texts, no phone calls, and no dropping in to check on them for at least a month following the breakup.

Rule 2: Keep Up Your Routine

If you can keep up your routine during this time, not only will you appear like you don’t care, but you’ll actually feel less sad and depressed, and you’ll be more in control of your life. In fact, most, if not all, of these rules will not only make it look like you don’t care, they’ll make it so that you actually think less about your breakup. You start by pretending you feel a certain way, and after some time passes, you realize that you’re no longer pretending. Fake it till you make it, as they say.

Obviously, there is a good reason that your routine has been interrupted. Not only are you feeling depressed because of the breakup, but there’s a good chance that your ex was a big part of your regular routine. For instance, you probably texted each other before bed or had a regular date night.

To deal with these interruptions, you need to find new activities to fill in the gaps. If you typically went on a date every Friday, then make regular plans with your friends to have a few drinks every Friday. You’ll be surprised how big of a difference this actually makes. Stability is so important to a solid mental state, and a solid mental state is going to help you get through this and help you get your ex back.

If you don’t have a solid routine in your life, now is a great time to start one. Plot out a typical day for yourself. What do you do when you get up in the morning? What about your nighttime routine? Really, all it takes is two or three activities to create a routine. Though it might be difficult at first, once you have it in place, you’ll realize how valuable that structure can be to maintaining your physical and mental health.

You do need to allow yourself some time to grieve the relationship, so don’t hesitate to take some time to actually process things. But make sure that you set aside time for this consciously rather than letting it bubble up out of nowhere and bring you to tears at work or around friends. It’s possible to deal with these feelings without losing control. As soon as you can, make an effort to get some normalcy back in your life.

Rule 3: Don’t Complain to Mutual Friends

I know how tempting it can be to talk about your ex after a breakup, and this is especially true if you’re worried that your friends might pick sides. But the best way to combat this isn’t to let them know all the dirty details of your breakup. It’s to be the bigger person. Let them know that you still care about your ex but that the split is for the best. Show them that you don’t need them to pick a side and that they can still be friends with both of you.

This kind of maturity will make you look good both to your ex and to your friends. If you still need to vent to somebody, choose a family member or friend who isn’t close to your ex so you can be sure that it won’t get back to him or her. Venting can be a great outlet for any negative feelings that you’re holding on to.

It can also help you sort out any kind of confusion. But don’t get too caught up in your need to vent and end up creating more drama with your ex. I’m sure it goes without saying, but don’t vent directly to your ex either because that never ends well.

Rule 4: Treat Them Like an Acquaintance

This is something that always gets under an ex’s skin after a breakup in the very best way. If you do find yourself in a situation where you have to talk to your ex, instead of treating them with kid gloves or being extremely cold and rude to them, just treat them the way you would an acquaintance who you’re not that close to.

This means being friendly and polite but without any of the intimacy that they’re used to. This sudden shift in tone can really hammer home the point that the two of you have broken up. If you play it right, they can’t really be mad at you since you’re just giving them exactly what they’ve asked for.

Rule 5: Focus on Yourself

This is something that many of us lose touch with while in a long-term relationship, and it’s also one of the biggest benefits of being single. Now that you don’t have somebody else relying on you to act a certain way and fulfill certain wants and needs, you’ll truly be free to put yourself first in every situation. This can feel selfish at first, but it can also be empowering.

You’ve been through a tough thing recently, and you deserve to make yourself feel good. By treating yourself right, you’ll start to see the good that comes with a breakup, and you’ll genuinely not care as much about the negatives. Treat yourself to a new haircut, cook your favorite dinner, and watch what you want for a change.

Rule 6: Don’t Be Rude

Being rude, hostile, or otherwise nasty to your ex actually does the opposite of what you’re hoping to do. While it will make your ex feel bad in the moment, in the long run, it’s only going to make them think that the breakup was for the best. After all, no one is going to feel bad about breaking up with somebody who makes them feel like that.

Instead, find another outlet for these bad feelings. This can mean venting to friends and family, exercising, or writing down your feelings in a journal. Whatever you do, just remember that this is a long game. If you want your ex to really regret their decision, being rude to them is not the way to get there.

Rule 7: Be Spontaneous

Like I said, relationships come with certain responsibilities. You are unable to simply abandon all responsibilities and embark on a weekend trip to Vegas with your friends, remain out all night, or return home with the attractive individual you met at the bar. But now that you’ve broken up, what’s stopping you?

Now is the time to say yes to adventure and try new things. If you can be free to embrace your spontaneous side, it’s going to show you all that you’ve been missing out on during your relationship. Hopefully, this will make you realize that while breakups suck, there is always a silver lining.

Rule 8: Ignore Their Messages

This one really gets under your ex’s skin. If your ex sends you a text message, don’t reply right away. In fact, if their message isn’t a direct question that’s important, you probably don’t need to reply at all. Maybe answer one in three messages, and even then, let a bit of time go by before you hit them back with a reply.

I know this can feel petty, and it may actually be, but it really does help give your ex the message that they’re no longer your number one priority. If you do respond, keep it brief and end it with a period to let them know that you don’t expect any kind of response back. Talking to your ex can be a really hard habit to break, but if you want to show them that you don’t care, you do need to be a little bit ruthless.

Rule 9: Don’t Reach Out on Holidays or Birthdays

I understand that you probably still want to be on good terms with your ex, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But you need to remember that you two are now broken up, and that means that they can’t expect you to wish them a happy New Year or sometimes even a happy birthday. If you’re serious about letting your ex know that you just don’t care anymore, then this step can be crucial.

Conclusion

Alright, that just about does it for this list. Remember, if you can maintain your composure, you’ll regain some of the respect that you lost during the breakup. Hopefully, you found this one helpful.