In this blog, we will discuss to situations where you continue to live with her or maintain contact with her for a significant period after the breakup. That is why you are struggling to make a no-contact approach.
I’ll also give you some advice on what to do if you have to encounter your ex at work or school, as well as what to do if you happen to run into them someplace in the world, such as the gym or the grocery store. So, let’s begin.
Now, the truth is that you can turn these unavoidable encounters with your ex into positive conversations that will benefit your cause, but first, let me clarify that I do not recommend intentionally spending time with your ex unless you have already completed 30 days of no-contact and know exactly what you’re doing. If you haven’t reached that place yet, or if you don’t know how to use interactions with your ex to create attraction and help win them back, you’re likely to cause more harm than good.
So, if you live with your ex, can you still maintain ‘no-contact’? How does that even work?
In short, you may and should maintain no-contact to some extent, even if you still live with your ex or have to see them every day. However, because you will still encounter them on a regular basis at home, work, or school, I refer to this as limited contact. Try the following to ensure no-contact still being practiced
Limited No Contact.
Before we begin, allow me to provide a few facts concerning this type of issue.
Fact No 1
This can make it more difficult to get back together because you won’t have had a full period of no contact. You will most likely have to see and communicate with your ex on a regular basis when you cross paths at home, to settle household debts, coordinate duties, and so on. There are solutions, but they usually complicate matters.
Fact No 2
Yes, it complicates things, but it also provides you with a unique chance that you would not have had if you were still living with your ex. While no contact is an important part of getting your ex back in 95% of all breakups, The fact that you will still run across your ex at home gives you the opportunity to defy their expectations and demonstrate that you are not needy or heartbroken. Instead, you’re still an incredible catch, with a lot to offer your ex if they decide to end the relationship.
Limited No-Contact can be achieved by practicing the following
1. Avoid expressing your feelings to your ex.
Because you still have to see your ex daily, the first and most crucial thing, you should do is avoid expressing your emotions in front of him. The last thing you want to do while you’re with your ex is become emotional, cry, or strike out in fury.
If you’re feeling extremely emotional, try to go out of the house and hang out with a buddy while you get through the first pain. In general, try not to display any unpleasant emotions around your ex.
Be pleasant and upbeat, not gloomy or upset. Another thing you should avoid is confrontation with your ex. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into any quarrel or yelling match with your ex. It may be tempting at times, and your ex may even want to start something, but you want to get out of that scenario and prevent any sort of dispute or negative interaction.
2.Avoid serious discussions.
You’d like to avoid any major discussions with your ex. Try not to discuss your split, romance, or future together. And so on. This isn’t the time to have meaningful conversations with your ex. All that will do is remind your ex of the flaws in your previous relationship and the reasons they decided to end it in the first place.
So those are the things you want to avoid discussing with your ex. However, if you still want to benefit from the no-contact plan, you should stay away from the house as much as possible and limit any talks with your ex to necessary matters over the next 30 days. When you’re in limited no-contact mode, don’t fully alter your routine. To prevent running into your ex, which might appear suspicious, remain busy and avoid being at home with him whenever feasible.
Again, keep those important interactions polite, non-confrontational, and uplifting. Basically, only engage in situations when you absolutely need to. It’s also generally a good idea to avoid making any commitments about moving out or finding a new place to live if you can do so safely and without bothering your ex. Your ex may want you to move out of the house immediately, or they may want to move out themselves, and you should allow them to do so without arguing. Be positive and supportive if necessary, and don’t worry if your ex is demanding. This is all part of my first piece of advice for you, which is to challenge your ex’s expectations.
3.Challenge your ex’s expectations.
Following a split, your ex will expect you to be heartbroken and desperate. Most people experience melancholy after a breakup and undergo significant changes in their lives and daily routines such as they’ll stay in bed all day, become cold, aloof, and negative around their ex, and cease doing activities they did throughout the relationship. Again, this is what your ex expects of you. Therefore, you genuinely desire to act in the opposite direction, particularly when it comes to avoiding physical contact. Offending your ex’s expected reality by carrying on despite your pain, by continuing to watch that TV show that you and your ex used to watch together every night, by going out regularly and seeing your friends, continuing with your hobbies, and so on. All of these will make your ex doubt their decision to end the relationship. They’ll see how good you’re doing in comparison to how horrible you feel, and it’ll make them feel like they made the wrong decision.
4.Prove that you can still make your ex happy.
When you do run across your ex at home, you should utilize the opportunity to demonstrate your value. Consider this: Your ex has reasons for no longer wanting to be together. Perhaps they have become frustrated with specific activities or behaviors you engaged in during your time together. Perhaps you got too needy and clingy, extremely jealous or controlling, or you simply drifted away over time and no longer have much in common. Or, more likely, a combination of these factors contributed to your ex’s decision that you no longer had a future as a pair. Of course, this has influenced how they perceive you. They see you as the needy, controlling, jealous, and distant person they broke up with. When they think about you and your potential future together, they see more negatives than positives.
They’ve virtually forgotten what made them fall for you in the first place, and they want you to continue living without the person you broke up with. You must prove them wrong here. So, whether you see your ex at home, in the kitchen, office, or school, you want to quietly and gradually show them that you are not the person they split up with but rather the person they originally fell in love with back in your early days together. So you want to demonstrate your positive qualities, avoid making the same mistakes or doing the same things that caused the breakup and their loss of attraction, and basically show them that they were mistaken about you and that you can still be an amazing catch who will make them happy and offer a loving, healthy relationship if they give you a second chance.
5. Do the opposite of what caused you to split
This is easy to do when dealing with neediness or envy. You can just avoid doing these things in the future. When an ex-lover extends an invitation to a friend of the opposite sex to socialize, avoid being nosy or reactive; instead, give them space, be extremely cordial, and act as if the situation is inconsequential and unconcerned with you.
For example, if you feel that your ex lost interest in you because you lacked ambition or drive in life, dropped out of school, procrastinated taking up enjoyable hobbies or interests, or just spent too much time lying on the couch playing video games, Then, you can prove to your ex that this is not true by doing the opposite. Sign up for night classes at a local college, enroll in that rock climbing school down the street and start going on a regular basis, meet a new acquaintance and invite them over, or plan a trip to Thailand.
The trick here is to ensure that you do the opposite of what caused your split and your ex’s loss of attraction. And don’t bother telling your ex about these changes; since you still share the same space, they’ll figure it out on their own and take note. As I previously stated, this may seem abstract at first, but it may be a highly successful technique to influence your ex’s feelings about you in a positive way.
6. Create mystery and intrigue to plant jealousy in your ex’s thoughts.
As previously noted, living with your ex has some distinct advantages, one of which is the potential to drop subtle signals that will keep your ex guessing what’s going on and what you’re up to. So, you want to create a sense of mystery for your ex. Now, you have to be careful not to make this too obvious, because it might backfire if you go too far or execute it incorrectly, but it works. While conversing with your ex, or someone who may overhear you, tell a loaded joke about a recent acquaintance or an upcoming date.
So, for example, if your ex is standing within earshot when you’re talking to another friend on the phone, you might say something like, “Thanks for the invite; that sounds awesome, but I’m taking my friend Mike to the music festival this weekend, sorry.” Now the key is to avoid giving any more details or making it into a big deal; just casually and subtly mention something that you’re doing with a new friend in order to plant the idea in your ex’s mind, and then let
Basically, let your ex’s mind develop envy and change their perception of you. The more ambiguous you are, the more successful it will be. For example, you could casually remark to your ex that you’ll be gone next weekend. The less you tell your ex, the more they will wonder what you’re up to and why you wouldn’t share more information or invite them. This is so that you can really get into the human FOMO instinct, or fear of missing out, and your ex will frequently let their thoughts wander and wonder if your big weekend plans include going to a music festival or a party on a luxury yacht. The less you tell them, and the more ambiguous and casual you are when dropping hints, the more your ex will feel left out and wonder what you’re up to. Believe it or not, this can make a significant impact on how your ex perceives you and how attractive they find you.
7. Beware of flawless execution.
Of course, as previously stated, this is a potentially risky approach that, if not used correctly, can lead to trouble. Make sure you remain outside or away from your ex’s location for the period you stated you would be away. So make sure you have plans to attend a music festival next weekend (even if it’s alone). This is to avoid being caught attempting to create jealousy or appearing foolish for making anything up just because your ex can hear you. To prevent being caught lying or exaggerating, avoid specifics. When you get this properly, it may be extremely powerful, making your ex wonder if they should have let you leave at all.
Okay, now let’s discuss a similar topic.
8.No contact when you have to see your ex, regularly at work or school.
First and foremost, many of the previously listed tips will apply here. So sprinkle subtle clues, incite envy, defy their expectations, and simply be pleasant around your ex. By the same token, avoid envy and any forms of strife with your ex. Don’t be rude or cold toward them.
This can be a difficult needle to thread for many individuals; how do you convince your ex that you have no ill will while avoiding appearing needy or desperate? In my opinion, it is preferable to come across as frigid rather than excessively nice. what I’m saying is that if you’re too cordial and courteous to your ex, they’ll assume you’re looking for something. And because you didn’t want the relationship to end, it will be clear that you want them back.
But if you’ve read my other blogs up to this point, you’re probably trying to avoid giving that impression because it puts pressure on them. But that will only drive them further away. So keep that in mind when you speak with your ex.
If possible, always be the one to end the conversation and maintain a respectful distance from them. Avoid being overly complementary or affectionate; do not overshare or delve into their lives; and approach them as you would a friend, but not as a close friend.
This type of treatment might have a significant impact on your ex. They want you to either linger around and pester them for another chance, or be unpleasant and cold to them. And if you treat them with loving indifference, it will hurt even more because it demonstrates that you are truly over them and have no ill will. This may make them feel as if they are losing you all over again.
What if you ran into your ex at a wedding, party, etc.?
Finally, I’d like to briefly discuss how to handle one-time (or one-off), unavoidable contacts with your ex. For example, suppose you’re both attending a wedding. What if you happen to be at the gym with your ex and run into them?
Always be cool, calm, and collected when you encounter your ex, no matter what the reason is or whether you are prepared for it. Don’t make a big deal about it; don’t get stressed or emotional; and stick to casual, friendly, and humorous conversation. Make sure you properly communicate to them how well you’ve been doing since the split and how much you’ve changed, improved, and learned from it.
If you feel confident, consider employing the mystery-building strategy we discussed previously in this blog to take advantage of the circumstances. The most important thing is that you look good, act confident and positive, and give the impression that you’re quickly moving on from the breakup, which will once again help to plant the seeds of doubt in your ex’s mind and make them wonder if it was a good idea to let someone so awesome slip out of their lives.
