My clients often ask me this, it’s always some version of the following. ‘No matter what I do, my ex-partner still ignores my calls. In addition to writing them a really love letter, I also purchased them flowers and gave them a necklace‘. What they mean by asking this question is this. They want to know if it’s possible to get your ex back by sending them romantic notes or presents. I hate to break it to you, but the answer is No. I know it’s really quite straightforward, contrary to what you may have seen in the movies but that’s the truth.
If you want your ex back, it will take more than just sending them presents and romantic notes. No matter how expensive or ideal the present is, it will be appreciated. Your letter’s aesthetic value is irrelevant. Actually, by doing this you’re making things worse for yourself in terms of getting your ex back.
Why gifting your ex doesn’t work? coz it gives a wrong message
For several reasons, the most obvious being the outcomes, it is ineffective. Thousands of clients have had this conversation with me; they’ve bought an expensive present for their ex, and I’ve told them multiple times not to give it to them. After hearing my side of the story, they usually say they won’t give them the gift, but then they end up giving it to them nonetheless. So, I can almost guarantee that they will feel remorseful the next time they contact me. Why? For whatever reason, their ex-partner has either completely ignored the present, rejected it, or smashed it into a million pieces.
Many people in a breakup might think that this is too harsh. My ex would never do that. The numbers don’t lie here. This is a common occurrence where the numbers don’t lie. In the vain hope that it will alter the dynamic between you, don’t offer them a present on any occasion. Hold yourself, even if it’s Christmas, their birthday, or graduation. The message sent by purchasing an item for an ex-lover when requesting their return is one of extreme desperation. What you should be saying to your ex is exactly the reverse of this. This gifting and stuff sends the message to your ex that you’re trying to win them back with something materialistic.
The message you should be giving to your ex
If you’re trying to get back together, you need to appear like you’re thriving, and happy, without them Their plight has become completely irrelevant to you. If you want to convince them to reconsider splitting up and instead see a future with you, that’s your only option.
What’s wrong with the Love Letters?
Love letters are just as bad as gifts maybe even worse. It can be understood why the idea of spilling your heart out to your ex can be appealing. You want to put it all out there, say what you feel, and be done with it. But what we have seen so far in dealing with ex’s suggests, that your emotions aren’t the solution here. Your ex knows how you feel and this hasn’t swayed their decision to this point. So why would reiterating it in a letter change anything. Rather, it’s only going to put pressure on your ex which will make them even more likely to pull away or even outright reject you.
Therefore, the lesson to be learned from this is that you should not attempt to give your ex-partner a gift, send them flowers, or write them a love note. Most of the time, that is not going to work at all.
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